My interpretation of Dante's Inferno.

Dante may have over-exaggerated a bit so I will give a  description based on his of what I believe hell could  be:

Purgatory - You smell a little funky so you take a  shower.

Level 1: limbo - The library, this is where all the  geeks hang out.

Level 2: lust - There is a nice breeze and you get to  hang out with all the sexyness. The dance club of hell,  free drinks for all!

Level 3: Gluttony - The comfy couch of hell! You get  high, snack on some munchies and play video games for  eternity.

Level 4: Avarice and Prodigality - They...play tennis?

Level 5: Wrath and Sullenness - Sitting in the mud and  arguing? This sounds like a day spa that offers mud  baths. The divine seems to know that you are cranky and  are in need of a little R&R...

Level 6: Heresy - Chilling at a classy restaurant with  a few politicians and scientists chatting about world  issues of the future.

Level 7: Violence -

  ~Outer ring: people and property - You sit in a hot  tub and centaurs bring you drinks. If shit pisses you  off that bad in life then might as well spend an  eternity in relaxation.

  ~Middle ring: suicide - You turn into a plant,  because plants don't care. Fitting...Others play fetch  with cute puppies.

  ~Inner ring: Blasphemers - You lay or walk on the  beach at night looking up at the stars. There is no  greater way of gaining an appreciation for what you  consider 'god' and nature than the awe of that  experience.

Level 8: Fraud - You go to a restaurant, it's your turn  to pay the tab, you have to wait in line to use the  bathroom and there is no lock on the stall so you keep  your back to the door. While you eat your steak you  wonder, briefly, if you should become a vegetarian.

Level 9: Treachery - Heat went out....Satan is bartending.

Because no WTF blog is complete without zombies....

Yes, the end is nigh my friends. The Zombie Apocalypse is coming, a thingy on facebook told me so. I believe it because it's zombies and who doesn't believe in zombies? I will be ready for that day with my trusty shot gun and an axe.

You may wonder why I would choose an axe along with my shotgun during a zombie apocalypse instead of a sword or chainsaw. Because an axe is manly, zombies will cower in terror at the manliness oozing from my pores as I shatter their aspirations of gnawing on my manly body. Zombie apocalypse pending, holding an axe says "I just stepped out of a burning building carrying a morbidly obese child and all 23 cats from room 14!" *hero stance*.

Sure, a sword may be more weildy and chainsaw man is definitely one you want on your side. But c'mon, really..Do you really want to be the guy that keeps a kitana in his living room ~just in case~ a zombie decides to stop by? Besides, every time your buddies drop in to smoke some herb they will be looking for your Manga collection. Don't get me wrong, anime is great. But no, I don't want to be in a life or death struggle with a blood thirsty hoard feeling like I just stepped out of a comic-con.

If you think that is bad, what about the chainsaw? That just screams "IMMA RAPE YA!!!" Could you even imagine people walking into your house and you have an old chainsaw lying on your living room floor?!?! That is a guarantee that you will never get laid again. The awkwardness would radiate in purity while one of your well intentioned friends try to hook you up. "Ya, he may be a little weird but he's a really nice guy once you get to know him, really; no he's not going to eat you; YESSS that is a chainsaw....fuck". You don't fool me chainsaw guy, you don't care about killing zombies at all.....they are inedible.

Debt collection fairy?

Really. Why, why, why must you call every morning at 8:00am? I am trying to relax and enjoy my morning before I start my procrastination of putting off whatever I need to do. The shrill scream of a telephone does not set an enjoyable mood.

I want to some how reprogram that automated system to say "Hey, it's Vinny! Wheres my fuckin' money!?!" At least then, there would be some point to all of this. It would be entertaining when I do decide to pick up the phone. What a wretched contraption.

On a more important note, being out of milk does not help me appease my coffee addiction.

And here we are...

I have now created my blog here at the wonderful blogspot, now what to do with it? I came here with a vague idea of what I want to accomplish, have a place to put down my thoughts in a way that is slightly more organized than how they come to me.

I visualize this as having text, video and pictures to portray my ideas. First step comes first, hammer out a full concept. This in effect becomes a testing ground for figuring out what the hell I'm doing. So in the delightful spirit of lamebook I will leave you with a little gem I came across on facebook: